'I went to ultra-religious Mormon uni — there were strict sex, coffee and swearing bans'

As videos about the unique environment of BYU have popped up all over TikTok, one former student who was raised Mormon but left the church in her young adulthood has recalled what it was really like to attend the strict religious college.

Alyssa Grenfell, 31, graduated from Brigham Young University, located in the heavily Mormon area of Provo, Utah, in 2016. Despite her devout upbringing, by the end of 2017, Alyssa had left the Mormon church and made the dramatic move from Utah to New York City with her husband.

She now works as a content creator focusing on the realities of growing up in the church of Jesus Christ of The Latter Day Saints and about her decision to leave everything she knew behind.

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Her now well-known alma matter, where campus culture and regulations were closely aligned with the teachings of the Latter Day Saints faith, was founded in 1875 by the second president of the Mormon church and educates a 99 per cent Mormon student body. On-campus life is heavily dictated by a series of hyper-strict rules adhering to the faith, banning everything from coffee and alcohol to premarital sex and male facial hair.

In true Big Brother fashion, the harsh rules at the college are enforced not only by a vigilant crew of on-campus bishops and a BYU police force, but also by fellow students, who are explicitly encouraged to surveil their peers and proactively report any rule infractions to the authorities with anonymous tools online.

Alyssa has delved into the realities of on-campus life at the ultra-strict religious university on her TikTok and YouTube profiles. Even non-Mormons who choose BYU for cheaper tuition or sports scholarships, for instance also must adhere to the college's strict rules despite not ascribing to the faith, according to Alyssa.

"Anyone who attends the university has to follow these very strict rules," she stressed. Despite being an explicitly religious college, they "are accredited" and legitimate, and a BYU degree does have some weight to it.

A manifesto of unique rules, BYU's honour code, is taken extremely seriously, with infractions intensely investigated and usually harshly punished by the all-controlling Honour Code Office.

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The biggest rule to be followed? Both Mormons and non-Mormons must pass an "ecclesiastical endorsement" from an appointed Mormon bishop once every year to enroll in classes - which according to Alyssa is like a "gold standard for being the best Mormon possible."

The 12 questions asked in the "ecclesiastical endorsement" ranged from "Are you striving for moral cleanliness in your thoughts and behaviour?" to "Are there serious sins in your life that need to be resolved with priesthood authorities as part of your repentance?"

Another question is "Do you support or promote any teachings practices or doctrine contrary to those of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?"

"If you are, say, someone who supports gay marriage, that is against the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - which is the Mormon church - so you would actually have to answer 'no' to that," Alyssa explained. She claims supporting gay marriage in any way would disqualify you from attending BYU from the outset.

These rules and interrogative questions can push people away from the faith. "It's fairly common that there are people who go to BYU who especially as they're at the university begin to question their belief in the church," she continued.

"If you're getting to the end of your college experience and you're starting to question your belief in the Mormon church, you would likely just lie. Because if you lose your ecclesiastical endorsement, and you get kicked out of the university, you lose your degree," she explained, regardless of how much tuition you've paid and how much of your diploma has been completed.

While sex and promiscuity are a fairly large part of many people's college experiences, BYU is very different. Students must "live a chaste and virtuous life including abstaining from sexual relations outside of marriage between a man and a woman," Alyssa explained.

Students must abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, vaping, marijuana, and any other substances. "BYU is known as one of the most dry campuses in America. When I attended BYU, never even saw alcohol. You know, and I went to parties off campus, I went to parties at people's houses, I even went to parties where people you know, lights were off, people were dancing... [what] seemed like a real college party to me.

"Even at stuff like that, never any alcohol, totally dry." Even language is policed on campus

"Respect others, including the avoidance of profane and vulgar language," the honour code states. "If you walk around BYU you're not going to hear a damn or a hell. You're certainly not going to hear a f**k," said Alyssa.

You can forget about experimenting with your appearance too. The BYU rulebook has strict guidelines on men's hair and grooming, specifying haircuts should be "trimmed above the collar, leaving the ear uncovered." They should be "clean-shaven" and any sideburns not extending "below the earlobe or onto the cheek."